1 in 6 Mums not enjoying Motherhood!
One from the archives as we approach Mother’s Day…….
Why one in six mums admitted to not enjoying motherhood until their child had passed their first birthday.
Did you read the books and search the websites and see the perfect pictures of pregnancy, motherhood and breastfeeding? Was reality for you something completely different, stressful and did it almost break you?
You are not alone!
One in six mums admitted, in a survey commissioned by Nurofen for Children, to not enjoying motherhood until their child had passed their first birthday. 52% felt that they had lost their identity, 35% missed leaving the house and going to work, 52% felt that they had to find new friends and 24% found breastfeeding a challenge. This is just what they admitted to, I am sure many would add that they had moments of desperation, moments of walking away from their crying baby and moments where they wanted to ‘give their baby back’.
Again, they are not alone!
Unfortunately, society today and indeed the media is focussed on celebrities (and many ‘wannabes’) and how they have the “perfect’ pregnancy and birth and are back in their size 6 dress a month after giving birth looking stress free. So this is what everyone has to live up to. After all, is it acceptable to still be in your PJs at midday or to just throw your hair in a ponytail with no make-up when you finally get everything (including a clean baby) ready and out of the house to meet a friend for a much needed coffee, or goodness me, did your baby NOT have a matching outfit on? Well, guess what, it’s OK and if anyone even thinks about being judgemental – who cares?
The first few weeks are just one long round of feeding and dirty nappies – it has never been and never will be glamorous! Yes you will leak milk, guess what – the celebrities do too! Yes, there will be sleepless nights and you will feel and look tired, guess what – so do the celebrities but when you see them in their photo shoots they have spent time with a make-up artist and hairdresser!
The problem is we are made to think that we have to be the ‘prefect yummy mummy’ and have the ‘perfect baby’ but we all know that isn’t real life. Every baby is unique and so is perfect in their own right anyway whether they follow a routine you have read in a book or find their own routine (which most babies do by the way!). As for being the perfect yummy mummy, YOU are what is best for your baby, the time that you spend with your baby getting to know their individualities, their cries, their needs is much more important than how you may look to someone else.
Don’t be to proud to ask for help, everyone needs it. Do be realistic, the first year is tough but it is also the most magical as your baby reaches those amazing milestones so don’t worry about what anyone else looks like or is doing, just relax and enjoy each and every moment that you can (even the stressful ones) you only get them once, and finally…..you’re doing great!